Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

Antidepressant withdrawal may be more persistent than doctors realize - PsyPost

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

The sadness was still there.

Has the current political environment caused Canadians to cancel trips to the United States?

And the sadness?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of fighting.

Why did Democrats echo that Joe Biden was greater than FDR and should be put on Mt Rushmore? Why did Democrats vote for Biden blindly in the primaries and deny he was mentally impaired? Was it the lying media, or are Democrats ignorant and gullible?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

The Forgotten History (and Slippery Science) of Canola Oil - Eater

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I had run out of hope.

Yuen: When cancer struck a second time, she found ‘euphoria’ - Star Tribune

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Has a conversation with someone who holds opposing political views ever caused you to change your own beliefs?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

You are like me, then.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The S&P 500 closes at 6,000 as bulls aim for return to record territory - MarketWatch

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.